october 2026, cowboy boots in love

I went to texas in october and spent a lot of good, quality time with friends I don't get a lot of good, quality time with.

I always think it sounds dumb to say "friendship is important," because it sounds like "breathing is important" or "eating is good for you," though now that I've typed those things out, I think all three are worthy of saying. Especially the food thing, since a large population of people does kinda treat eating like it's bad for you. I digress. This is about friendship.

I'm the only girl in a family with three other kids, each of them a boy. The first part of my life, I grew up with my cousins as well, and two of them are boys, one of them is a girl, and one was a baby, who is now an adult woman because I am old. That was a long way of saying I didn't grow up around many girls because with my brothers came all of their friends, and my mom had a rotating carousel of dumb boyfriends, plus my cousins.

So sometimes I wonder if my friendships mean so much to me because I spent so much of my life with boys that when I realized the way friendships, especially with women, fill me up, something in me shifted. I used to be friends with lots of boys, and now I'm not because about eight or so years ago, I began to learn to de-center men. My partner is a man, and my three brothers are men, and those four are the most important people in the world to me, but beyond them...

I bring this up because today is the anniversary of my friend Mackenzie's death. Four years ago, she was killed in a car crash when a drunk, suicidal guy drove off of an overpass. He lived, which he didn't want to do, and she died. Now his life is between the walls of a prison in connell fucking washington and she doesn't get one.

This isn't about him, or a PSA about drunk driving, or a PSA about suicide. I just wanted to share a story about Mackenzie.

My brother and Mackenzie dated for a number of years, and she and I were quite bonded, even well after their split. The first time I met her, she was talking about how she never liked those Will Ferrell comedies that came out every year in the early aughts because she was so sick of male-centered comedy.

I loved her so dearly from that moment on, even though my primitive ass loves those movies. I still love her, even as the sound of her laugh is fading from my memory.

I wish I could segue this into a book rec about friendship, but I can't. I only read about bad relationships and the fucked up entertainment industry last month instead. I also did zero reading on my Texas trip, which is surprising, as my trip included a five-hour flight there and back. I usually try to sleep for at least half the flight, regardless of how long it is, and then read, but this time I had my switch, which was a great way to kill time while watching a movie. (Die My Love with Jennifer Lawrence and Robert Pattinson. I didn't like it, and then she shot a dog, so I hated it.)

[what I read]

• Piglet by Lottie Hazell (2024) | Quick summary: Piglet has a nice life, until her fiancé admits a terrible secret.
  I had to spoil the "terrible secret" for myself in case it was "boyfriend admits he hates fat people," or something awful. That is not necessarily the case, and I won't spoil it more than that. I liked Piglet, the character, and enjoyed the rich descriptions of food. Otherwise, forgettable book.
  [literary fiction, written by a white british writer, medium-length read]

• Whidbey by T Kira Madden (2026) | Quick summary: A pedophiliac rapist loses his life, and women's stories help solve what happened.
  Delighted by the fact that this story largely takes place on Whidbey Island, a place I grew up one ferry ride away from, I wanted to love this book. While reading the town name, "Mukilteo" excited me every time; I found the story disturbing, miserable, and hard to follow at times. Regardless, shoutout to my childhood! (The Mukilteo parts, luckily not the rest.)
  [literary fiction, written by a diasporic Kanaka 'Ōiwi author, medium-length read]

[what I heard]

• Spare by Prince Harry (2023) | Quick summary: The memoir of England's Prince Harry.
  Years later, I felt ready to listen to hours and hours of Prince Harry. It was quite enjoyable, and a bit weird, and a bit juvenile, but mostly I enj0yed it. Royals are bad and weird, and I respect Harry for calling it as it is to the best of his ability. I will never get over listening to him describe how he fell in love with Meghan Markle over a single photo. She's gorgeous, of course, but the photo is below.
  [nonfiction, memoir, written by a white male british member of the royal family, long listen, read by the author]

• One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This by Omar El Akkad (2025) | Quick summary: A memoir and research into the reality of the last few years in Gaza, and war in general.
  Man, I don't know. This was a great listen but likely a better read, and re-read, and re-read. Besides the war on Gaza, this memoir also articulates the intricacies of western imperialism in general.
  
  I wish we were a humane culture, but we just are not.
  [nonfiction, memoir, written by a white male egyptian american canadian novelist and journalist, shorter listen, read by the author]
• Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything by Alyson Stoner | Quick summary: The memoir of former child-actor Alyson Stoner.
  I am only six years older than Alyson Stoner, which means we grew up together, and also I am a person who was old enough to observe their upbringing. Like everyone else my age and older, we know Stoner from Missy's videos and from movies like Cheaper by the Dozen. Like everyone else my age, I feel nostalgic, and sensitive, and supportive, and empathetic to Stoner's journey. To me, this was a perfect ~ celebrity memoir ~ especially with Stoner's call to action regarding child stars in show business. They are so brave.
  [nonfiction, celebrity memoir, written by a white nonbinary american actor, singer, and dancer, long listen, read by the author]

• Billy on Billy: An Audio Memoir by Billy Eichner (2025) | Quick summary: The memoir of comedian Billy Eichner.
  I actually listened to most of this in September, but the audiobook is long, and I ran out of time and had to re-request it. I only did that because I wanted to finish the book; not because it was good, or even very interesting. Though I genuinely love Billy on the Street, I found this memoir, and sometimes Eichner himself, quite mundane. I am not sure Eichner has much to offer beyond Billy and I AM SORRY TO SAY THAT.
  [nonfiction, celebrity memoir, written by a white male american comedian, actor, singer, screenwriter, and television show host, long listen, read by the author]
• This Is Me: A Reckoning by Hayden Panettiere (2026) Quick summary: The memoir of late actress Hayden Panettiere.
  I knew this memoir would break my heart and hurt my feelings, and that it did. I am not sure whether Hayden Panettiere knew she might die soon, but the memoir reads that way. As someone who reads a lottttt of celebrity memoirs, I can tell when a book feels like it was released to save an image, offer hope, or let someone have their final say. Panettiere's book felt like all of those things, and it made me so fucking sad.
  [nonfiction, celebrity memoir, written by a white american actress and singer, longish listen, read by the author]

[what i recommend]

• If you're a person: One Day, Everyone Will Have Always Been Against This
• If you care about kid actors and the trauma that comes with that: This Is Me: A Reckoning and Semi-Well-Adjusted

PS I hope you voted in your local election today!